When Harley Caught Them
by xM00N M00Nx
Summary: Harley wakes up in her living room closet and finds Joker and Batman in a slightly awkward position.. BatmanxJoker SLASH, One-Sided HarleyxJoker, Nolan!Verse and Comic!Harley


Authors Note: First fanfiction in a while... any and all responses are welcome! Based on another story called "an offer he couldn't refuse", I took that concept and wrote what I believe to be the "missing chapter" if you will, written in Harleys perspective, and beginning around the time she was shoved into the wardrobe. This is the first BatmanxJoker fanfiction I've written and actually posted on here, so apologies if it's really bad.. I have another account on this site, i think it was 'Magic And Fireworks' last I checked which I last wrote things for in 2011/2012 when I had an obsession with Glee... ahaha xD Also shout out to Nakita who has encouraged me throughout writing this c: *hugs* I hope you enjoy this fic and may the odds be ever in your favour :3

Harley's eyes flashed open, suddenly greeted by darkness. 'Where am I?' She thought, still in her groggy, sleepy state. Panic was written across her features as she felt something soft brushing against her cheek.

Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she recognised the area around her as her and Mista J's closet in their living room. 'What the hell?' Harley said quietly to herself, trying to move her hands before realising that they were bound together with rope. She quickly untied the rope, with surprising ease 'whoever tied this really isn't very good at knots haha' she thought, smiling slightly to herself and slowly opening the wardrobe door, creeping out as to not disturb whoever put her there, having concluded that he/they didn't want her around for whatever reason. She stopped, a few steps away from hers and Mista J's bedroom, upon hearing her Puddin's voice 'why must you tease me like this, batsy?' Joker said, prompting confusion in Harley. 'Why would he be saying that to b-man? What is happening in there?' She though calmly, not expecting what she saw next, completely shattering her calm and confused demeanor. She came closer to the door in order to find out what on earth her Puddin and Batman were doing, alone, in the bedroom that she shared with Mista J. Harley stood in the doorway, stoic and expressionless, with her mouth agape. 'Mista J was.. k-kissing bat-breath!' Harley exclaimed in her mind. The calm mindset was gone within a second after seeing the two through the doorway, unaware of the blonde standing there, repressing a squeak. 'She... uhh... should be aw-awake by now... she has probably escaped..' Batman growled in the Jokers ear as Puddin' kissed the part of Bat-Brains neck which wasn't covered by the cowl he wore as Gotham's vigilantè. 'Who cares? She... mm... needs to get over her pathetic crush on... me anyway... let her catch us..' Mista J spoke against his apparent lovers neck. Harley restrained a gasp, putting her hands to her lips in quick motion. 'So they put her in the closet! So they could..' Harley didn't even want to think about what they had planned to participate in while she was asleep, tied up in their closet. Harley noticed that things were heating up between the Bat and Joker so she decided that enough was enough and this, whatever it was had to stop. Harley slowly crept away from the doorway and looked for a few non lethal weapons and found an old Ipals speaker, a chair leg and an old baseball bat about to break. She chose the chair leg as her weapon of choice and went in for the kill. Standing back in the doorway she stared menacingly at the two men lying on top of eachother, half clothed and speaking in low voices 'ready for round two?' She heard the Joker say to his lover 'ew' she thought with a disgusted face etched into her pretty features 'let's go' Bat-Twat smirked and started kissing Mista J.

Harley fake coughed, gaining their attention suddenly. The Bat's shocked face switched instantly to an expression of hatred, noticing the bat in the hands of the Joker's henchwench 'you're not going anywhere you sons of bitches' Harley snarled, raising the bat in her hands, as if to hit Batman's face. However Batman's reflexes were too fast and before she could even blink Batman had gripped the bat in Harley's hands and ripped it from her before raising the thinner end and hitting her face, hard, knocking her out cold, then picking her up by her hat and dropping her out the window and onto the roof of a car, being careful not to kill her. He was NOT breaking his rule for her. 'Atleast not today' he thought.

'Wow batsy! That was kinda hot... makes me all tingly' the Joker smirked, kissing his Batman passionately 'I know Jay' Batman smiled kissing back with ferocity and love 'hey Batsy, this is a..uhhh longshot but I wanna see you. Take off your cowl for me. Please?' Joker asked, breaking the kiss. 'Jay... you know how I feel about that... but.. tonight, for you. Okay.. I'll take it off. And only on one condition. You tell me your real name.' The Joker's smile faltered slightly 'My name? It is.. or rather, was, Jack. Jack Napier..' Joker replied kissing the still cowled vigilantè, before unlocking their lips from eachothers and letting Batman remove his mask. The Joker was shocked. Batman was.. Bruce Wayne. Billionaire, playboy, and some might say complete asshat, but Joker disagreed with that last one. He knew the truth. 'Thank you.' Jack smiled, closing the gap between himself and Bruce. Bruce moved his lips in harmony with Jack's, swiping his tongue along his lovers scars, tasting every inch of the Joker's mouth, their hands roaming eachothers body's. 'Oh god.. Jack' Bruce moaned as he felt Joker's hand reach into his boxers and start stroking his growing member. Jack used his free hand to expertly remove his own boxers, once off, he disgarded them on the floor and began to work on getting Bruce out of the rest of his costume. When he achieved that, Jack pushed Bruce back onto the bed and kissed him hard, probing his lovers mouth with his tongue, while his hands worked on Bruce's lower body, eliciting high pitched moans and seductive growls as he did so. Bruce had had enough of Jack teasing him and decided to turn the tables. Bruce lifted the Joker off of him and threw him down onto the bed, mauling his face with rough, hard kisses. He positioned his erect cock at Jacks entrance and, using only his saliva as lube, roughly thrust into his lovers tight hole. Jack yelped at the sudden intrusion, which was briefly painful, but subsided almost instantly with extreme pleasure 'oh my god Bruce! Fu-uck! Ahh!' Jack screamed as Bruce pounded into his stretched ass. 'That's right baby... say my name. Scream it' Bruce growled into his lover's ear, pounding harder, with both of them beginning to break a sweat. 'Bru-uce!' Jack screamed, stuttering slightly due to the sheer amount of pleasure his lover was giving to him. 'Oh yeah.. again. Say it again' Bruce moaned, still pumping in and out of Jack 'Oh god! So close Bruce... So close...' Jack gasped breathlessly 'I know.. I am too...' Bruce breathed, as he began to pump harder and faster into Jack's stretched ass, aiding their release. 'Umpff.. uh.. uh.. baby.. more.. more' Jack gasped, using a hand to jerk himself off. Bruce complied with his breathy request and used all of his remaining strength to harshly fuck his lover into a frenzy of pleasure, which in turn brought them up to a massive climax. 'O-oh god yes! Baby! I-I'm gonna cum. I need your cum.. please baby' Jack moaned into the mattress that was sticky with sweat and week old cum from the last few times they'd fucked in this room. That last remark sent Bruce over the edge and falling into a haze of extreme pleasure. He spilled his seed into Jack and grabbed his cock, dragging Jack moaning and gasping into his orgasm, causing him to cum all over Bruce's stomach and his own. Bruce collapsed onto his lover, both men gasping for breath, threatening to fall asleep after the intensity of their orgasms. 'That was amazing...' Jack gasped. 'Yeah. It was.' Bruce replied, kissing his lovers forehead before both men fell into a peaceful sleep.

As soon as she woke up next to a crushed car and on the ground outside of her apartment, bones aching and head pounding, Harley knew something was wrong, although, what exactly, she didn't know. She could barely remember anything after catching Batman and Joker in the bedroom, and what she could remember, was blurry and unclear. Harley grabbed hold of the cars side view mirrors and hauled herself up, limping over to the door of the abandoned apartment complex and entering it slowly, due to her injured leg, one hurting her more than the other. 'How am I going to get up these stairs?' Harley wondered, becoming slightly pained from the pressure on her legs. 'Okay Harls, mind over matter... mind over matter...' she thought to herself, an expression of concentration painting her face as she carefully climbed the rickety stairs up to her apartment.

Minutes later, she had reached the door to her apartment, hearing nothing but silence through the paper thin walls, which was a good sign. Harley certainly did NOT want to walk into there and find them in a... more than compromising position. She causiously opened the door and entered her lounge area, still hearing only silence throughout the old apartment. Reaching her bedroom, she discovered why her apartment was so eerily quiet. Batman and Mista J were sound asleep, curled up together, covered by the rumpled bed covers. 'It's actually kinda cute..' Harley thought subconciously. She stared at the couple for a few minutes before being shook from her thoughs by the sudden stirring of the Joker, who was lying on top of Batman, who was wearing the mask and his boxers, follwed by the sleepy moans of Batman, Harley jumped out of their line of sight and hid in the shadows. She heard the two of them move around a bit and, while obviously still half asleep, Batman tried to shake his sleeping lover awake. 'Hey Jack.. Jack.. come on.. wake up! It's 6 in the morning!' He whispered, kissing Joker on his lips, in an attempt to awaken him, which worked, and smiling when Jack opened his eyes. 'Hey babe, we should probably get up and actually do something productive today, eh? I 've got nothing on and I know you don't, so how about we go on a date later?' Batman whispered softly to his lover, smiling genuinley when Jack nodded and kissed bruce insistantly, wrapping his arms around batman's neck, pulling him close. Harley made quiet gagging noises from her hiding place, in the corner of the apartment, as she listened to Mista J's conversation turned porno, and wished that she could just run. Far away. So she did. She got up, and ran out of the front door, careful not to alert any attention from the two men in the bedroom. Once a safe distance away from the apartment complex, she fell to the floor of a dingy alleyway and cried. She cried aggressive, hateful tears and started to plot her revenge on the bat. 'He will pay. That useless Bat will regret ever taking Mista J away from me. I will make sure of that.' Harley growled to no-one in particular, gathered her nerves and stormed further into the early morning darkness.


End file.
